Orient Express

Monday, September 12, 2016
Reflections at 5:19 AM

Haven't blogged for a while.

I think my life was too busy even with the ups and downs for me to do anything else but simply 'do.'

I thought I learnt a lot by falling out of love and being hurt so many times.
It's funny how no matter how much you get hurt over and over again essentially you don't change and you're the same emotional and 'weak' person who can't keep up with modern day cynicism and abstinence from feeling anything 'sensitive.'

I've got big shoes to fill, ones that I left for myself. I've shaped 25 years of my life to be this person I invented and im still trying to be that figment of my imagination. Maybe it took just one more mistake for me to realise I actually can't change who I am.

I'm weak, whatever. I believe in affection and love and I believe that if everyone gave it as much as they wanted to receive it (honestly) then people would not suffer as much as we all do today.

I am convinced I was born in the wrong era but perhaps this generation needs more people like myself who just can't help but feel and give into emotions.

Perhaps I'll be super unlucky and not meet people who are on the same page as me and I might suffer and be hurt forever over and over again but I've learnt that it's better than forgetting and not feeling at all.

This all makes me so human and unique and I need to remind myself that I'm not emotional and crazy, I'm who I should be. My personality can't betray the truth of the heart  in its purest and most honest form and I should really work on embracing and being comfortable having this squishy overflowing heart.

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