Orient Express







Sunday, July 10, 2016
My only outlet at 1:46 PM

Dear diary,

I am writing to you because otherwise I will go crazy.

Some people because of certain situations circumstances people events etc. cannot see or say anything other than what they want to see or visualise as reality.

Is it humanity's flaw that one never realises exactly how dead the other person is inside and how disgusting someone that you thought was a good person can be once things aren't ideal or easy anymore.

To think that there is somewhere out there always this minor glimmering possibility that the person you meet will be able to change things for the better. I'm reminded that there will be no one out there who can make things 'better'.

I knew I am more at peace with less conflict when I am 'just me.' When it is just me, it allows myself to be selfless and pay proper attention to friends and family. Emphasising on how it allows me to in the first place, as I am vulnerable to being swallowed up by my internal demons and not giving into my self hate is a regular obstruction in my day to day life.

Add a partner into this fine tuned balance and it becomes another huge volatile variable that can push over the balance at any point.

I know I'm unique and I think differently which can be fun and entertaining. However this can be conceived as weird or troubling to live with for others and that's fine I'm all for people who just don't get along or feel comfortable with others but no one needs to get hurt too bad before this is realised and mended.



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