Orient Express







Sunday, December 28, 2014
the pain isn't going away at 4:42 PM

It's a really difficult thing in life to have somebody there for you.

The pain, the pain, it isn't going away.

Why do i have everything to give yet i feel so hollow and empty inside and trapped in loneliness?

Everything is so fragile.

Nothing is a given. Nothing..nothing..nothing..

How long do i have to fight alone?

Uneasiness and a slight choking feeling builds up in my chest. I get no empathy, no unconditional love.

Im left in my own dark cloud to try and breathe on my own. Where is my soulmate?

I take and accept everything mean done to me, why cant i be treated lovingly respectfully and sweetly when i really need it?

I keep giving and then suffering. And i give another chance. When will i finally lose hope? Physically gripped, shaken, as well as emotionally, with talks of a broken ending. A broken future is spoken of to me.

Is there a pot of love which doesnt have my name on it? I probably am condemned to forever loneliness trapped inside this dark cloud, continuously trying to struggle to breathe. Why doesnt he want to come inside and hold my hand? Maybe the cloud will dissipate and i will finally he able to breathe again if he helped.

Maybe i need to pretend im okay and he doesnt need to help me for it to work. Maybe my life needs to be a huge big act for him to love me.


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Saturday, December 27, 2014
Trapped in a dark cloud at 10:42 PM

Every passing minute is really hard to deal with and a huge effort.
I wish I got comfort and love without asking for it.
I think secretly, I am waiting for a hero to save me.
Further and further, I feel like I am sinking and more reasons are arising which makes me feel like I have no way out of this mess and torture.
Glimpses of happiness gets teased in front of me and then snatched away, and I try to be strong all the time but really, is there anyone out there who can provide me with a sanctuary so I can hide for a little while from everything nasty about the world and being a part of the living itself?
The hardest thing in life is to find someone who will go through and help you through the torture called 'life.'

Will anybody be able to save me?


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