Orient Express

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Question at 3:17 AM

Destined to fend for myself since day 1.

To dine, laugh, enjoy the everlasting company of yourself. Possible, but one has to wonder...is a life other than your destiny even worth chasing after?

Is jumping over many hurdles and leaping through fiery hoops something that one should do just for the chase?

When do you finally find out that it was worth it in the end? Will you ever know for sure? Maybe at the end, all outcomes are the same. If so, do we simply live for the glorious moment? Is that kind of lifestyle an accomplishment?

Is it the unknown that places fear into naive hearts? If we even had a clue, would we really make the right choices? The question of right or wrong is difficult enough.

Spiralling down into a pit of depression and a loss of faith is not a good feeling...and I don't think it is a good idea to hold on desperately to any little pathetic string of light you can get your hands on either. You would be in a big fat rut, pretty much. The only ending left would be to rot and be swept away by the wind and forgotten.

Life is just one big S&M game isn't it. I swear the only ones who want to live it has a fetish. They play along with the roleplay and enjoy how fucked up it is. Some people just reach a point where the frustration just fills up the lungs and suffocates them, and they realize that no effort nor protests can fix the shit they are buried in. Literally the only fucking thing you can do in that situation is accept your fate and cry.

It's sad how people are worn down and reduced to a state where they are empty shells. To fall into that moment where nothing matters and emptiness is emphasized...as if you are locked into a pit of monsters and eternal darkness and you have the key to get out, but you don't even bother to escape.

I reach so many stages where I just don't fucking care what kind of shit may happen to me because the various kinds of other shit that might go on will definitely be way fucking better than the shit I'd be feeling already. White flag is up, do your fucking worst.


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