Orient Express







Saturday, January 21, 2012
The Sweet Escape. at 6:31 AM


It's hard to plan ahead when you're young how your life will pan out maybe 10 years into the future...the disconcerting thing is that I don't know what might happen even a year from now. I'd like to think I'm on the right track, but even that I'm not 100% sure. It doesn't really feel like an adventure for me. It just seems like the higher the chance of deviation or the occurrence of an unexpected event, the more trouble I might get into with myself.

Maybe it's because I am still adjusting with my independent environment, but it seems like it's really hard to get a good hold of that feeling I had when everything felt stable and secure. I would like myself to feel stronger but more often than not I realize how hopeless and faraway I am from being truly independent. I know my circumstances calls for those desirable qualities that I should have by now, but I keep forgetting how weak individuals can be without even realising it themselves.

It's really easy to beat around the bush, hiding from the truth, from funnily enough, yourself, just to try and forget about what is the real reason that's really bugging you. It goes to the point where one can't even see what's the real truth anymore. One might forget the real reason they even do anything in the first place...all I know is, whenever doubt appears, the solution seems to be....

HOLIDAY!!!

...or to put it more accurately, an escape....


Hmm...I doubt that's very good management of my insecurities.

I think going on an escapade gives you an exhilarating freedom and a thrilling sense of hope. It's like the high of a drug but you can't exactly put the ecstasy you feel into words that seem understandable.

I don't even know what I'm writing about anymore...this was pointless.


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