Orient Express

Saturday, October 29, 2011
Ugly at 6:30 PM

밝게 웃어보지만
내 맘에 들지 않아
난 예쁘지 않아 아름답지 않아

노랠 불러보지만
아무도 듣지 않아
난 예쁘지 않아 아름답지 않아

난 왜 이렇게 못난 걸까
어떡하면 나도 너처럼 환하게 웃어볼 수 있을까
또 화가나 왜 늘 완벽하지 못해
이 깨진 거울 속 못난 모습을 향해 탓하기만 해

쳐다보지마 지금 이 느낌이 싫어 난
어디론가 숨고만 싶어 벗어 나고 싶어
이 세상은 거짓말

날 쉽게 이해한다고 하지마
못 생기고 삐뚤어진 내 마음이 널 원망할지도 몰라
말 시키지마 난 너와 어울리지 못해
그 잘난 눈빛 속 차가운 가식이 날 숨막히게 해

다가오지마 너의 관심조차 싫어 난
어디론가 떠나고 싶어 소리 치고 싶어
이 세상은 거짓말

All alone
I’m all alone
따뜻함이란 없어
곁엔 아무도 없어

All alone I’m all alone
I’m always all alone
따뜻함이란 없어

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Monday, October 24, 2011
The Heat Is Coming =X at 5:42 AM

So I was walking home from uni today and I realised it was fucking hot.

No help that my rash hasn't cleared up yet; I was in my jeans and trudging up the hill in my neighbourhood getting more and more dehydrated by the second. Whilst dizzy and semi-delirious, I realized that it wasn't a good time to be sporting an unhealthy diet when summer was coming around.

Along with the heat, I'm starting to think about a whole can of issues of the world that probably doesn't even matter to me and getting really stressed out about them.

On top of that, my exams are coming around again. It's the big ones. Not a good time. NOT A GOOD TIME. I am looking forward to 3 weeks later with all my heart and consciousness that has somehow remained to stay intact.

Sad sad times up ahead, more and more people leaving uni = more serious people. The time for the idle exploration of youth is very short lived indeed. I wonder how fast this season of heat will pass...and how dreary life ahead of the heat will be.

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