Orient Express







Tuesday, November 30, 2010
busan at 10:48 AM

I am on a chewing gum diet. I've heard that chewing makes you hungrier but I think my habit of eating comes from boredom, and I fill that boredom with chewing. Thus if I occupy my mouth (haha) with chewing gum instead of carbs and sugars, I will be less likely to snack.









My stash :D

Too lazy to make the trek to the shops, I've been internet shopping. Noone lives around Busan anyhow, the ajumma from the hairdresser in the next apartment complex said she'd introduce me to a friend because she thought I'd be lonely. I left my number and it's been nearly a week. I guess my sweet charm may intimidate some people.

My days usually pass by pretty uneventfully. You could probably tell the extent of fun I'm having as I am writing a blog about chewing gum at 4am in the morning with the cable tv running in the background. Sigh. I miss my other nailpolish colours.

I can't find fucking christmas cards in this country, wtf? Do people here just throw more mini bibles and tissue packets with hymns or something printed on the inside in people's faces as a holiday greeting or something?

I realised as people get older (not really, more like, growing out of innocent childhood), we lose the affinity between young friends and the unspoken promises of youth. People's devil on the left shoulder begins to mature and becomes a big fat glutton and we gradually start getting more selfish and private, and calculate one's benefits and sacrifices that has to be made to a friend or family in the speed of light. I always thought this skill would develop once people get married and start a family or something, but I get reminded often that in fact people around me and people who were once innocent relations with no latent tossing between pros and cons are now people who obviously ignore friendly advances for god knows what intent and just generally give off corrupt and negative feelings.

I don't know how people can ignore the good intent of others, you know, people who made the effort which others did not care to make. Personally, I become putty to people who make even the slightest effort for others and act out of fairness and selflessness. Suddenly those people look like saints in my eyes with halos glowing above their heads. Maybe I don't know many good people, so my constant latent search for goodness, affection and friendliness in people makes even the slightest act seem amplified like through a huge marshall amp and sends a resounding impact on me in the corrupt world that I can see on the surface.













Mmmm...sexc

Actually, it's extremely easy to redeem oneself. It only takes like, an hour of one's time, being in contact with someone to relieve tension or conflict. A gram of effort, even. With a conversation initiated, an apology (down to 1 fucking word), 1 hug or a coffee, regular updates, or the more modern and convenient way of msging or twittering, fb'ing, gazillion trabillion ways...are minimal ways to resolve conflict, large scale or small...wow, how selfish and lazy is my generation?

I feel hopeless to be part of gen Y...Like humanity is somehow an archaic treasure that was lost in the times of farrah fawcett's hair and humongous shoulder pads.


















and now I'm watching some scary about paranormal shit...oh, it's about some chick who cheated with her bf's friend and she got an abortion soon after some video of them. haha. OH haha and then there is some weird child whining and screaming sound in the background of the video and they think it's the sound of her unborn baby screaming "stop itt" hahahahaha. Lol this is like all in Japan. They really love this stuff... I really loved doing this scary story stuff in high school too. But never got to do it in those scary settings like in an abandoned factory or forest or something. =[

anyway I shall drift off to sleep whilst lying down in front of the tv.

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Friday, November 5, 2010
Dandelions in the fields at 8:24 AM

Pity to:

  • the world where one cannot freely be selfless due to the selfishness of others and the fear of being the fool
  • reverting to a self which is not your own, to make it easier to be a reluctant stereotype
  • the essential language of false pretence that one must use everyday
  • the point where one cannot distinguish between clouded morals and societal necessity


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